This was one of those posts that stopped me mid-scroll. I immediately saved it because it gave me the words to articulate how I was feeling at the time. I have spoken about how limiting the expectations we put on ourselves are, and I think a combination of expectations and being unsure of ourselves creates space for self doubt and negative self talk.
I have come to realise that 2019 is my uncomfortable year. I was constantly seeing tweets and inspirational quotes on my timeline about growth, and I have always been open to growth (so I thought). However, the level of discomfort and uncertainty that is experienced during this growth period, is something no tweet or inspirational quote can truly prepare you for.
Finding Yourself
I don’t believe we are just lost beings, wondering around trying to find ourselves. I will say that the idea around finding ourselves gave me something to fantasise over. I was able to remove myself from the now and create a whole new idea of myself. For some this is an opportunity to motivate themselves, but for me I felt like I was able to use it as an excuse to escape reality.
I much prefer the idea of remembering who I am, as it feels true. We may feel lost and unsettled at times, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we are lost individuals in need of finding ourselves. We know ourselves today, and continue to be open to rediscovering ourselves, I think that is a better way to look at it. We are definitely not perfect and we are forever evolving, that does not make us lost. I just think it’s important to note that it’s human to feel unfamiliar with ourselves at times, I don’t know if we ever get to a point where we know ourselves fully in all areas of our lives. That’s why we have to set limits and boundaries, being open and still standing in our truth requires knowing our limits and setting those necessary boundaries.
Remembering Who You Are
If this uncomfortable year has taught me anything it is that we already know what we are capable of doing. Life, those around and our fears have a way of talking us out of making those steps towards what we already know is for us. We make the mistake of listening to and believing the negative voices in our heads and it can make it really difficult to hear the positive voices we have around us.
Those messages of encouragement, praise and support. They can be loud and sometimes overwhelming, but trust and believe those words are true and words you’re deserving of. If you don’t see it now, you will as you start to remember who you were before the fear, before the anxiety, before the bullies, before self-doubt. I guess that is why we are often reminded to listen to our inner child, that whole concept is starting to make sense to me now.
What do you think? Are we on the road to finding ourselves? Do you think we already know ourselves and just need to be reminded of our greatness?
SAABIRAH LAWRENCE 
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