It may be a shock to some, but get this women are more than capable of being multifaceted and not every woman will want the same thing. So suggesting a woman is no longer Independent based on the fact that she wants her man to pay for her is a load of rubbish.
Independence is defined as being free from outside control; not subject to another’s authority.
Independence And Me
Naturally I am pretty independent, I prefer to just get on with things and go at it alone, and yet my top love language is Acts of service. So as much as I like to get things done, typically in my own time and alone, I also heavily appreciate when someone does something for me without me asking. I like the fact that I naturally want to do things for myself, whilst (sometimes reluctantly) giving others the opportunity to take the lead. It is how I operate and one of the things I will not negotiate with as it would be going against my character.
I get that some are just being sarcastic when they shout “I thought you was an independent woman” In response to a situation where women express their fondness for chivalry or men taking the lead etc. And I’m also aware that some women may play around with this and pick and choose based on convenience, which can be seen as both a negative and positive.
I honestly believe the increase in conversation around female empowerment and the process of healing, unlearning and being the woman you want to be verse societies idea of a “good woman“. Has allowed us to accept our independence and to refrain from using it as some type of step towards being the “right kind of woman.”
Many, including myself used being an independent woman as a way to make themselves feel better than other women. The idea that we didn’t need men to do anything for us, was almost a middle finger to women who do the opposite and not the rightful middle finger to patriarchy. The idea that we wasn’t push overs or women to be taken advantage of gave us some type of superiority complex.
What Does An Independent Woman Look Like?
Now that I understand that being an independent woman is not for me to gain the right kind of partner, but was actually just a large part of my character. I know that being an independent woman does not take away from where I need help, assistance, guidance or whatever it may be. But that being an Independent woman just means I take control when necessary.
But also understanding that an independent women has no look, she is who she is, she determines her own future.
Independence does not look the same with every woman. Women are capable of displaying various forms of themselves, that’s the beauty of being human. The ability to be who you want to be, regardless of what others may think and feel towards it.
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